I had the expectation I had reached a safe country - I was wrong

To speak about my own experience of the detention centre, Brook House, which I was in for 26-27 days... It was really difficult and painful for me. I really felt like I was suffocating. It seemed like time had stopped. Time was no longer passing for me. Imagine... it’s a horrible time, full of stress and fear… and time isn’t passing. Time is frozen. This feeling was suffocating me.

And this was after I had suffered so much on the way, after all the trials and challenges I had faced on the way. I came with the expectation that I had reached a safe country, a place where humans and human life is valued. So when I came and they took me to the detention centre… I felt like I had lost all hope.

I had lost all hope that there exists a country where there are people who will sit and at least listen to you, listen to your difficulties and the pain you have endured… and see whether there is even any breath for life left in you before trying to tell you about laws and regulations. To see whether you have any energy left to walk, to breathe.

Many asylum seekers, like me, are at the end of their tether when they reach here. They just need somewhere peaceful. They can’t deal with paperwork, police, officials, to be taken here and there and all of those games anymore. They are exhausted from all of that. They have dealt with so much mentally and psychologically that they just don’t have the strength to deal with that stuff anymore, like me. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t bare it anymore.

It was extremely, extremely hard for me there. It was painful.

I didn’t commit any crimes. I am just an asylum seeker. An asylum seeker does not commit any crime to be imprisoned and locked up the way we were. Being imprisoned made the pain I experienced on the way 100 times worse.

I could not sleep at night. When they locked me up in the cell, I would think back to the past experiences I had, I’d fall asleep and I’d immediately be startled awake by nightmares. And I would sit there, just waiting until I would finally fall asleep again. It was a very difficult period in my life.

I hope that this doesn’t happen to any other asylum seeker. I hope no other asylum seeker is imprisoned in the way I was and to endure that much pressure and stress.

I am thankful to all of you who helped us during this time. I hope that this won’t take place for any other asylum seeker in this country. I hope that no one is locked up for a long time. Again, I’m grateful that you have helped us during this time, and that you listen to our voices.

- by Z